My scoliosis journey began when I was around 10 years old when my mum noticed I wasn’t sitting straight and leaning more to the right. A harmless visit to the doctors turned into a referral to the spinal team at the children’s hospital. I was then diagnosed with adolescent idiopathic scoliosis after X-rays were taken. I remember surgery being discussed when I was only 13 or 14, as my curve had progressed further, and I fitted the criteria for surgery. My mum refused all surgical options, I underwent physiotherapy, 6 monthly check ups and wore back supports to help with the pain. Over the coming years until I was 18, I was reviewed at the hospital, their wishes still remained the same that surgery was the best option. I was seen at the adult hospital after my 18th birthday, I had new X-rays taken and my curve had become worse over the last year, they expressed the seriousness of this and that it was only going to get worse. I had just started a course at college studying performing arts, I knew if I had the surgery I wouldn’t be able to do the course so I refused surgery for the time being. I continued with constant pain relief, back supports, and physiotherapy.

My back continued to deteriorate, and my mobility became a bigger issue by the time I was 20. We’d moved away and I spoke to a specialist who was blunt with me and said if I didn’t have surgery within the next year that I would end up in a wheelchair. That pushed me to agree to be referred to the spinal clinic where I saw my final scoliosis specialist who expressed the seriousness of my health and that my breathing would continue to deteriorate and my mobility would become strained. He couldn’t see another option apart from the surgery and explained the risks and that it was a very complicated surgery. I was terrified, what if it went wrong, what if it didn’t work.

As I was 20 years old I could make the decision myself, I was absolutely overwhelmed by it but I agreed to be put on the waiting list. I went for my pre assessment two weeks before my operation date which was originally in November 2014. Unfortunately, this was cancelled the day before due to bed capacity, I was so upset I’d prepared myself mentally for this and it was taken away from me. I was then given a date in December, which was cancelled due to me falling very poorly with flu. January 2015 came around and I received the call to say I was top of the list and my date of surgery would be the 22nd of January 2015. I didn’t know how to feel, I was petrified, excited, and anxious all in one; I didn’t believe it was happening until I was in my hospital bed.

On the 21st of January I was admitted to the hospital ward around 3pm. My mum was allowed to stay with me until 8pm, I managed to eat some dinner and had my last drink around 9pm. I don’t remember getting much sleep, I was tossing and turning, every time I dozed off, I woke up in a panic. I was woken up at 6am to shower and wash my hair, I knew I wouldn’t be able to do this for a few days at least. I pinned all my hair back and got into a new hospital gown, I was given stockings to put on and my consultant came to see me at 7am. I was visibly shaking and felt so sick, he explained the whole procedure and all the risks. He could see how anxious I was, so he suggested I had a sedative to calm my nerves. My mum came into the ward at 7.30am just as the nurses were told to organise a porter to take me down to theatre.

I remember being in floods of tears, hysterical almost, I had never felt so scared in my life. I knew my life was going to change but I didn’t know if it was going to be okay or not. The last thing I saw before I was put to sleep was seeing inside the operating theatre and seeing so many people all there just for me. I counted back from 10 and the next thing I knew it was two days after my surgery.

I was taken to ICU after my surgery, I don’t remember any of this, I don’t even remember seeing my mum during this time. I was taken back to the ward 24 hours after my surgery, I was very drowsy and spent most of it asleep, it was only on the second day that I started to be awake for a bit longer, my memory isn’t the best of the first few days. I remember my surgeon coming to see me when I was back on the ward and he explained how serious my surgery actually was, he had to get another surgeon to help him as my spine would not move, he contemplated closing me back up without correcting the curve as it was so bad. He planned on the surgery being 6-7 hours, but it ended up lasting almost 10.

I struggled so much with pain management over the coming days in hospital, I was every sick with the morphine and had to have it reduced which affected me immensely. The physiotherapy team came to see me on day 3 to get me out of bed, I was terrified and remember screaming due to the pain. I did it though. I walked up and down the ward using a Zimmer frame with my catheter in tow! I then began sitting in the chair for an hour or two a day, slowly building strength up in my legs. I was in hospital a total of 11 days, I celebrated my 22nd birthday in there and they made me a cake, I felt so overwhelmed.

The recovery took a long time, I was in pain 24/7 for a few months. I relied on a wheelchair most of the time for the first two months to get me out and about as I didn’t have the strength to walk. As the months went by, I became so much stronger and learnt I had grown 3 inches in height and moved up a shoe size!

I honestly don’t regret anything; I don’t think I would be here today if I didn’t have the surgery. It’s changed everything and made me who I am today. If anyone is unsure about surgery I’d tell them it is honestly the best thing I’ve ever done, I went through hell and back but thinking back on everything, it was worth it, it was worth every tear shed, every tiny worry and every single minute spent recovering. Scoliosis is something I will forever hold dear to my heart and my curve has not disappeared completely, but I am now able to feel comfortable in myself. I had a 95-97 degree curve and I am now under 10 degrees; I am fused T2-L2 and have the biggest most beautiful scar. I am now almost 8 years post op, and I wouldn’t change a thing, the metal work is now part of me, and my story is a huge part of my life and my future.